70961

Joke of the Day

"After the weekend the most difficult task is to remember names... "

"How can you tell the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him? The picture doesn't scream when you hang it."

"Two fish were in a tank... and one says ""How do you drive this thing?"""

"Why do they keep records of people who died due to alcohol, but not the records of people who were born thanks to it?"

"Why are most demolitions experts happy? They get the best blow jobs in town."

"Why is a toothbrush a ""tooth"" brush? Cause it was invented in Alabama! [Inspiration came from the comments](http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825?irpc=932)"

"A motorist was pulled over by a traffic cop. ""Excuse me, sir,"" said the cop. ""Do you realize your wife fell out of the car two miles back?"" ""Thank God,"" he said. ""I thought I'd gone deaf!"""

"Tonight I made some synonym rolls Just like Grammar used to make"

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"Some days when I think back on music from the late 90's I often get a little blue da ba dee da ba die.."