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Joke of the Day

"Wait...so I get a million dollars AND I get to punch a baby in the face? -me when someone asks if I would punch a baby for a million bucks"

"Why does NASA drink sprite? Because they couldn't get 7up"

"The difference between oral and anal thermometers? The taste."

"As I exposed my glorious chest hairs & catapulted toward the Velcro wall, I realized that I had no exit strategy."

"What happened when the lion ate the comedian ? He felt funny !"

"*Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *packs for wall 3 feet away *has an amazing time at wall"

"What time is it in Brazil? Oh, it's 7 past Cesar"

"What do you call a cute girl in an Amish church? A visitor."

"whips out Motorola razr and texts mom ""drive me to hot topic or none of my friends will love me"""

"Whitney Houston is 3 Years sober! Wow! Never thought it would happen"