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Joke of the Day

"From my not quite 3yr old cousin. Q:Why did the doggy cross the road? A:To get to the bone! Q:Why did the bone cross the road? A: To get away!"

"Guy at the gym tried selling me fake steroids... Bro, do you even grift?"

"The world does not revolve around you, it revolves around the sun...which shines out my ass."

"I'm writing code, not making diamonds. Continuing to apply more and more pressure will not produce a better outcome."

"What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you? A pool table."

"Obama's reaction to NSA scandal ""This technology means spies will never have to use windows ever again."""

"Why don't elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?"

"As hillbillies age, they're called hillwilliams."

"I've started a time travellers club The first meeting will be yesterday at 5pm"

"Why did the surfer join ISIS? Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up."