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Joke of the Day

"(commercial for drugs) Man: Nothing is working out in my life VO: Have you tried drugs? Man: (startled) Who said that Narrator: ""Drugs"""

"What did the lecherous Sufi say to the burkini fatso? Ouagadougou"

"[At the ferret store] I'll take five of those furry slinkys"

"Some say sex is better than chocolate. Others say chocolate is better than sex. I say why not make love to chocolate."

"I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am... I'm not really a mourning person."

"*puts crime-scene photos in a rocket* Ok stand back ""Detective, what are u doing?"" What does it look like, I'm launching this investigation"

"Whats the difference between my sex life and my virginity? I have a virginity."

"What did the Ukrainian say to the whiny American? Crimea River."

"How many hipsters does it take to...? ...Bazinga! nobody cares! you fell for one of my practical jokes again."

"Man, I'd give my first born to be able to have a kid someday"