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Joke of the Day

"Don't move leaves without their permission... That's rake."

"Billy and his dad. Billy's dad walks into his room and says ""Billy, if you don't stop masturbating you're going to go blind."" To which Billy replies, ""Hey Dad, I'm over here!"""

"Just saw a fat woman lick icing off of her sleeve so that is the last time I eat in front of a mirror."

"Do the right thing today: Go to someone's profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something."

"What is the media of choice for the mallard? **DUCK TAPE!!!** lololololololol-- *cough cough* --lololololol"

"What does RoboCop use for fuel? Petroleum"

"So, two elephants are in a bathtub, when one of them says, ""pass the soap"", and the other one says, ""No soap: Radio!"""

"WHAT DO WE WANT? A NAP!! THEN WHY ARE WE YELLING?"

"Standing closer to me in line will not get you to the checkout faster."

"When I was a kid, we were so poor... If I didn't wake up with a boner on Christmas, I wouldn't have anything to play with."