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Joke of the Day

"What is the media of choice for the mallard? **DUCK TAPE!!!** lololololololol-- *cough cough* --lololololol"

"why did the ghost crash his ghost car? because he was full of BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!"

"Finding $5 you didn't know you had is awesome til you realize you're 34, it's 2011 & $5 won't even buy enough gas to drive you off a cliff."

"Why did the tomato blush? He saw the salad dressing"

"I named my dick Rosa Parks ...Because it refuses to go in the back."

"I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens."

"What is the driest soda you can buy? Baking soda."

"A man gets pulled over for speeding. The cop comes to the driver's window, takes a few sniffs and says ""Sir, have you been drinking?"" The driver says ""I SWEAR TO DRUNK, I'M NOT GOD!"""

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator"

"A good book is like a good puppy. Easy to pick up but hard to put down."