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Joke of the Day

"*requests Uber* *climbs in backseat* Uber driver: ""Where to?"" Me: ""oh, nowhere. I just don't like to change my diaper in the street."""

"Shaving your beard is a great way to remember what you looked like when you were 5."

"You know why it's called Black Friday? Because everything is 3/5ths the original price!"

"When life gives you lemons just be thankful it wasn't herpes ."

"Do you know why God made Adam and Eve white? Ever try taking a rib from a black guy?"

"[finally rich enough to go to a tailor] ""How can I help you sir?"" One clothes please!"

"How do you react when looking in the mirror? You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar."

"What do you call a man who is too proud of his balls ? Ego-Testicle."

"Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure."

"The worst part about blind dates is trying to find a restaurant with menus in braille."