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Joke of the Day

"I did something terrible today Now I have to wait a year before I can post it to /r/tifu"

"The fastest way to learn a foreign language is to take a lover who speaks that language, which makes me wonder about Mr. Ed."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly ? Kick his sister in the jaw"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Licksalottapuss."

"I never run with scissors Those last two words were unnecessary"

"bees What kind of scary bees can produce milk? - boo bees"

"dont judge a book by its cover. dont judge a book at all. read a book. write a book. dont judge a book unless that book has murdered someone"

"A little boy has diarrhea... Mom: What the hell do you need Viagra for? Boy: Isn't that what you give to Dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"

"Why do jews get their penises circumcised? Because women like their dicks 20% off"

"It's so annoying when people make fun of what other people are wearing. Like yeah, this dress is a little tight, my legs are a little hairy, and my dick is hanging out but still!"