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Joke of the Day

"*rubs temples* security guard: Hey you! Stop touching the historic buildings at this ancient religious site!!"

"My shower has two settings: -Freezing Cold -The Ending of Terminator 2"

"What's black and married to my daughter? Nothing because I'm a good parent."

"What's Beethoven's favourite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA!"

"Why did Hitler fail math in high school? Because he could never get to the Final Solution."

"My grandfather, bless him, he can't really do what he used to Bomb the Germans."

"I am so poor... I cant even pay attention."

"I saw two WNBA tickets nailed to a fence today It's my lucky day! Free nails."

"What do u get when u mix a douche and a tool? Scottsdale."

"My Granddad is on a catheter...... It really takes the piss"