2171

Joke of the Day

"Well... I like to think of it this way if we survived two fantastic 4 movies we could survive Ragnarok and hey we did good job world"

"House is a mess ... Walked in the other day and there were 2 people on the couch blindfolded and filming a Fabreeze commercial"

"Did you hear about the guy who had to leave his position to become a manager? He was fired up"

"Guys my calendar is really sick.. I think its days are numbered."

"I'm a vegetarian for the health reasons. Now pass the cheese fries."

"You wouldn't hate anything about yourself if the world hadn't taught you how."

"What did the hungry boss give his worker? Their celery!"

"""I gotta 'A' in spelling"" Tony told his father. ""You dope!"" he replied. ""There isn't any 'A' in 'spelling'!"""

"I'm obsessed with you. Not like peak through your window obsesseHEY I LIKE THAT DRESS WEAR THAT ONE"

"KING SOLOMON: I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure ME: OH GOD NO! KING SOLOMON: ok this is clearly your meatball sub."