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Joke of the Day

"Imagine a bunch of Italian mobsters tiptoeing and trying not to giggle as they gingerly place a horse head in bed with a sleeping guy."

"Two office workers are chatting by the water cooler ""I has a nice quiet dinner with the wife last night"" one says. ""Oh yeah?"" The other responds. ""Yeah, except for the celery."""

"The pig jumped into bed with my 6-year-old all by herself. It was super cute. Then the pig threw up all over her. Considerably less cute."

"""Dude go make the first move on her!"" ""Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing."" *approaches girl* ""Knight to f3"""

"your mom is so fat that.. The whole U.S nation started this ""ur moms so fat"" joke exclusively because of her"

"What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window."

"I tried to fix my shovel today, but I just couldn't handle it."

"What do Lifesavers do that a man can't? Come in eight flavors."

"""Sorry"" seems to be the hardest word? There's ""Worcestershire,"" ""anemone"" & ""otorhinolaryngologist."" But whatever."

"I just found out I'm going to be a father!!! My wife will be pretty mad when she finds out."