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Joke of the Day

"""Dude go make the first move on her!"" ""Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing."" *approaches girl* ""Knight to f3"""

"Yo Mama So Fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles."

"I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I'll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab."

"How to make Holy Water Friend: Hey, how do you make Holy Water? Me: Uhh...Let me think... Why? Friend: You boil the hell out of it! Me: Get out."

"*Air horn sound* *Second airhorn sound* Me: ""Well this clearly isn't deodorant."""

"What was Stalin's favorite chemical equation? HAmAr + SiCl"

"the first guy to ride a horse was all like GIDDYUP HORSEY and the horse was all like DAMMIT WHO TOLD HIM THAT MAKES US GO"

"If kryptonite is Superman's only weakness, what is Supperman's only weakness? Leftovernite"

"Why are they called overalls when you can still see arms and the head? That shit ain't over all. Those are oversomes and whatnot."

"I drank so much wine last night when i walked across the dance floor to get another glass, i won the dance competition."