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Joke of the Day

"I tried to fix my shovel today, but I just couldn't handle it."

"Apparently you're not supposed to tell ""That's what she said jokes"" during the Board meeting because it's ""inappropriate"""

"95% of the world is retarded I'm glad I'm part of the 10%"

"The door is not ajar. It's a door, silly!"

"I used to be a cross dressing fireman... ...I kept getting a ladder in my tights."

"Justin Bieber Comedy Roast - 10 Meanest Jokes"

"What do you say Everytime maths wants you to calculate value of his X Dear Maths, I'm sick & tired of finding your 'X' she's gone dude and don't ask 'Y'"

"How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout ""Heroes in a half shell."" 3) When a girl yells back ""Turtle Power,"" marry her."

"How do you drown a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole."

"Great way to end a phone conversation: Yell ""OH FUCK, METEOR!"", then hang up really hard."