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Joke of the Day

"The pig jumped into bed with my 6-year-old all by herself. It was super cute. Then the pig threw up all over her. Considerably less cute."

"""I wasn't that drunk..."" ""Dude, you were driving your truck around the Walmart parking lot trying to find your truck."""

"What do you call a hot indian girl? Bomb bae"

"What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college? About thirty thousand dollars a year."

"The guys who measure out the granite so it fits nicely in your kitchen were prob mad when they found out the term counterfeiters was taken"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Apple ! Apple who ? Apple the door myself!"

"When you have a relationship with a positive person.. You usually get aids"

"Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients."

"What?s orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot"

"Hate it when a banana has bruises on it but the banana says it fell down the stairs & you just know it's lyin' to protect an asshole banana"