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Joke of the Day
"[dean tries handing me a diploma as I walk across the stage] I have a boyfriend"
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"How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how many cops planted it there"
"Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving..."
"What's a mailmans favorite organ? Da Liver"
"I've just been to the hospital where the doctor told me my DNA was backwards. And?"
"[NSFW] I asked my roommate if she would suck my cock after I cleaned it... The dirty cocksucker said no!"
"Me: I'll have a beer Waiter: it's 10am Me: I'll have a beer and some scrambled eggs"
"The Russian army orders 100K rubbers from a US company, specifying 12"" fit needed. The US firm fills the order with packaging marked ""MEDIUM."""
"Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road? None of your damned business! Am I being detained, officer?"
"A University professor goes to his German doctor about a strange mole... ""Ich bin ein doctor."""