69244

Joke of the Day

"I got a call at work telling me my daughter missed period number 3. When I woke up in the ambulance it turns out it was the school calling."

"Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly."

"4 said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7, and now I'm terrified to go into the bathroom."

"A Jewish boy asks his father for $20 Jewish boy: dad can I please have 20 dollars? Jewish dad: 10 dollars?!? What do you need 5 dollars for?"

"Why do Hasidic Jews dress so strangely? Because they are unorthodox."

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokinoff."

"How many Nazis did it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, despite crimes against humanity they were efficient people and had state of the art engineering."

"Am I the only one who calculates how many hours sleep I can get before I go to sleep?!"

"An asshole What do you call someone that puts the punchline in the title?"

"What does Mozart put on his front lawn? Metrognomes"