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Joke of the Day

"Why do Hasidic Jews dress so strangely? Because they are unorthodox."

"SECURITY GUARD: [speaking into the cuff of his shirt] The president is on his way to the car LITTLE MOUSE THAT LIVES IN HIS SLEEVE: Ok cool"

"What is the difference between an Olympic runner and Hitler? An Olympic runner can finish a race."

"How much does a birdhouse cost? I don't know the exact price but I know they're pretty cheep"

"Why Batman never joke into comedy. One rule: NO KILLING"

"My wife is like a hurricane... At the beginning there was a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end I lost my house."

"Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding."

"Dollar Tree clerk asked me to fill out a survey to maybe win a $500 gift card and I was like I don't need to own a whole dollar store thanks"

"A guy gets pulled over by a cop. Cop: Your eyes are bloodshot; have you been drinking? Guy: Your eyes are glazed; have you been eating donuts?"

"Call me self-indulgent, but I only stay in motels that advertise ""color TV"" and ""air-conditioning"" on their sign out front."