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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump and Mike pence fall off a boat, neither of them can swim, who survives? AMERICA"

"How does Jesus pull mad bitches? Because he's hung like this! ( extends both arms horizontally)"

"Broke my make-up mirror this morning. I thought people would say 7 yrs of bad luck but mostly it's been, ""Your eyeliner is really crooked."""

"Banks are like girlfriends... ...they just want all your money."

"Why did the duck get kicked out of church? Because he was using fowl language!"

"Can't figure out why my dog licks his balls. They taste fcuking disgusting."

"Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th. ""Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."""

"I told my doctor i was scared and nervous when i got tested for HIV... He said 'Just calm down and try to think positive.'"

"Why did jillian fall of the swing? She had no arms! Why didnt jillian get back up? She had no legs! Knock knock! Whos there? Sure as hell not jillian :)"

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator"