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Joke of the Day
"Donald Trump and Mike pence fall off a boat, neither of them can swim, who survives? AMERICA"
Next Joke
"[At restaurant] I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! But I'm on a diet so... [To waiter] Do you have diet horse?"
"If I wanted to get trapped in a scary maze, I'd just go into my kid's bedroom."
"Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor's house is genius."
"I've recently invented a new gaseous compound I like to call 'Fuh'. I like to spray myself with it before I go out. It often causes people to Fuh-cough."
"Is ""blowjob"" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards."
"Give a man a plane ticket... Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life. First post sorry if its a repost"
"I do NOT trust my bowels... I just think they're full of shit _"
"The TSA doesn't take compliments well... All I said was that the TSA was the **BOMB** and they wouldn't let me leave!"
"""What did Fifty Cent say to his Grandmother when she made him a sweater?"" ""GEE, YOU KNIT!?!?"""