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Joke of the Day

"A conversation I had with an abusive child philosopher >ACP: What is love? >Me: Baby, don't hurt me."

"How to stop, drop and roll if you are drunk. If you're drunk, it's not called the stop, drop and roll. It's called the stop, drop and stop rolling around so your drunk friend can piss on you."

"I met my soulmate. She didn't."

"Who wrote ""The Tiger's Revenge""? Claude Balls"

"When's the improper fraction helpline open? 24/7"

"Overheard 2 dad's at the playground wondering if my kid was as creepy as me. Joke's on them. I don't have kids."

"Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know"

"What do you call a showoff Texan? *Austin*tatious."

"What do you call three crows? A crowd."

"Can someone help me figure out how much water I need to add to this baby powder in order to make a baby?"