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Joke of the Day

"My church was going to have a sermon on prophecy today... but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances."

"Teacher: Tommy Russell you're late again. Tommy: Sorry sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late. Teacher: Well if it's late again tomorrow catch an earlier one."

"Want to hear a joke about sodium? Na."

"What do all Japanese Airmen wear eye patches? Because they're pirots!"

"What is brown and sticky? Shit."

"Let's agree that if we're both not married in ten years we'll sew our cats together to make one big SuperCat."

"Girls can be so ungrateful. I make her breakfast in bed and instead of saying ""Thank you"" she is all like ""How did you get into my house?"""

"What is the difference between an incompetent marksman and a constipated owl? One shoots but cannot hit and the other hoots but cannot shit."

"Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?"

"""How much for this toaster?"" ""An arm & a leg."" ""How about a leg & 2 fingers?"" ""A leg & 3 fingers."" ""Deal!"" - Cannibal Pawn Stars"