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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Tommy Russell you're late again. Tommy: Sorry sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late. Teacher: Well if it's late again tomorrow catch an earlier one."

"Where did Mary go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"How did David Copperfield get HIV? From doing Magic."

"Why did the bear dissolve in water? It was a polar bear"

"Why can't you starve in a desert? Because of all the sand which is there."

"I didn't realize what ""Shoot the J"" meant... So naturally people explained it to me when I shouted it at the wheelchair basketball halftime show."

"I used to struggle to keep food on the table until I Googled ""how to get your pet turtle Charles to hold still because he's a table now."""

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 always follows 6!"

"The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day."

"What should you do when you see a blond with a pin in her mouth? RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!"