121090

Joke of the Day

"Girls can be so ungrateful. I make her breakfast in bed and instead of saying ""Thank you"" she is all like ""How did you get into my house?"""

"I wanted to go as the invisible man for Halloween this year. But my Girlfriend made me put my clothes back on."

"I'm tired of talking to the monkey!! I wanna talk to the Organ Grinder!!"

"Keep a few cat turds in your pockets, just in case a cop searches you. He will get cat poop on his hands, and you can laugh. It's all legal."

"Do you know what makes darks better than whites? Not dropping all your fucking socks"

"Little-known fact: Jesus baked a perfect and delicious cake for the Last Supper. It is referred to as the Immaculate Confection."

"Carlsberg don't do Alzheimer's ... ... but they do make exceedingly good cakes."

"What do you call a plant and sock hybrid? A sockluent"

"Whenever I meet a Jim I ask, ""is that short for Jimberly?"" and I have few friends in real life."

"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on the inside of her thigh. If I put my ear on it I can smell the sea."