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Joke of the Day

"""I love the fall!"" - girls who are happy they don't have to suck in their stomach in pictures anymore"

"How do people approach their crush I don't even have the guts to ask for an extra ketchup in McDonald's?"

"Do not break eye contact with your waitress as you put the spaghetti in your wallet."

"My African Neighbour just accused me of being racist.I said, "" F*ck Off, I've got a coloured TV ""."

"Final words to David before surgery: ""If I don't make it? Swear you'll have me cremated & snort my ashes off a hooker's ass."" He promised."

"To make sure everyone cries at my funeral, I'm requesting they play nothing but Creed and Nickleback through factory car speakers."

"Women say men get turned on when they nibble on their earlobes. I think it's bollocks. - Jimmy Carr"

"I wish all tests were things you peed on"

"Star Wars Spoilers (not really) Dumbledore dies!"

"""We suspect you may have inability to vocalise emotion disease"" ""I can't say I'm surprised"" *doc strokes beard* ""Hmm yes.Just as we thought"""