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Joke of the Day

"To make sure everyone cries at my funeral, I'm requesting they play nothing but Creed and Nickleback through factory car speakers."

"it's cool how the members of Anonymous are so good at computer stuff, but also wrote so many great poems and inspirational quotations."

"How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?"

"I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with dysentery? One of them shucks between fits."

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they"

"A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying ""Betcha can't eat just one!"" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move."

"My Phone autocorrected ""wish you were here"" to ""wish you were beer"" and I sent it anyways"

"Why can't smokey the bear and his wife have kids? Because every time his wife gets hot, he throws dirt on her and beats her with a shovel"

"KFC is a shelter for battered chickens"