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Joke of the Day

"A horse walks into a bar....... Bartender: ""Why the long face?"" Horse: ""My alcoholism is destroying my family and my wife wants a divorce."""

"There once was an algebraic instructionswoman who did not rinse out her mouth The function of Listerine to her breath varied inversely, as the function of Listerine went undefined throughout the year."

"I was going to suggest Twitter to have a live Nativity scene but I think it's going to be impossible. A virgin and 3 wise men? On here?!"

"I bet the only thing more stressful than defusing a bomb is letting your husband pack for a big trip."

"Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their Gods lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check."

"What do a dead fish and dog shit have in common? They are both front-page material on reddit"

"A debator turned politician ordered everyone with beards to go home and come back the next day. He wanted them touche-v it."

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None - its a hardware problem"

"Just replaced the cat litter with 44 packages of pop rocks... And now we wait."

"What do you call a Skydiving criminal Condescending"