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Joke of the Day

"I bet the only thing more stressful than defusing a bomb is letting your husband pack for a big trip."

"My brother David had his ID stolen Now he's just Dav"

"Since it started raining all my girlfriend has done is look through the window If it gets any worse i'll have to let her in"

"Got diagnosed with Kyohosis The doctor diagnosed me with kyphosis. 85 degree curvature. I had my suspicions for a while, but the diagnosis proved to me that it wasn't just a hunch."

"My son told me a girl was yelling at him and he just sat there wondering what he did wrong. Imagine, at 9, being so ready for marriage."

"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I'm serious. That Israeli how he does it."

"What do you call two guys using the same urinal? Peers"

"We're equally riveted by stories like the Chilean miners (33 men, 1 hole) & Tiger Woods (1 man, 33 holes)."

"A warm toilet seat... A warm toilet seat is like fucking a prostitute. It feels amazing at first but you can't help but wonder who was there before you."

"""To each their own"" Translation ~ one of us is right, and well... the other one is you."