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Joke of the Day

"[baby wakes up in the middle night] ""Go back to sleep, hun. I'll sort it out."" [puts baby on eBay]"

"Her: ""Honey, I want to be with you 24/7"" Him: ""Ok, see you on the 24th of July"""

"Did you hear about the communist nymphomaniac? When the workers of the world united, they all got an equal part in her."

"I just came home with 25 pairs of carpenter jeans. . . My wife thinks I'm building a new wardrobe. BTW original, thought I'd share."

"Well. Now I'm beginning to think Toyota is doing this on purpose. Like they're getting back at people for making jokes about Asian drivers."

"This orange does not taste right... I think I'm gonna put it back in the crayon box."

"I dance like people wish they weren't watching."

"What's got 24 balls and screws small animals? A shotgun shell."

"What do you call a minion that falls on a grill? Filet mignon"

"Im tired of chasing people who wont chase me... from today on the ice cream man can go fuck himself."