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Joke of the Day

"Doctor doctor give me the news I've got a bad case of lov- oh what's that? It's AIDS? Well that just doesn't rhyme at all"

"The first time I run out of windshield wiper fluid is the last time I have windshield wiper fluid."

"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. I hope it's thinking about me too."

"How does Donald Trump plan to expel all Muslims from the county? Legalize Uber."

"That gunk in your eyes when you wake up is dried ghost ejaculate."

"So HBO is making a drama about relatives conspiring against eachother to take control of the family pastry company It's going to be called Game of Scones"

"gettin prety good at makin baloon animals, so far i can make: - a snake - worm - eel - dog, hot - 2 snakes"

"Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications."

"If a person with ADHD went to a camp... ... would it be called a concentration camp? Source: Girlfriend with ADHD"

"My friend's parents recently got a dog called ""Bradford"" Because he's mostly brown and black, with a little patch of white."