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Joke of the Day

"I have decided to run a marathon and have taken up vaping instead of smoking You could say I am running on fumes."

"Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to? Pupil: Nobody I know!"

"What do woman and KFC have in common After the breast and the thigh there is nothing left but a greasy box to stick your bone in."

"[NSFW] So a guy in Belgium picks up a phone... ""Hey, who is this?"" ""Allah"" ""Allah who?"" ""Allahu akbar."""

"What are the similarities between fat chicks and bricks? they both get laid by mexicans"

"You'll never understand unconditional love until the birth of a child. Or hear the beep of a microwave with your burrito."

"People with Bluetooth headsets always look like the least important people you could possibly call."

"[On a date] *Don't let her know you're a dog* Girl: Do you want to...maybe go for a walk after this? *starts running in circles going crazy*"

"What's a jew doing on a swing? Fucking with the german snipers"

"How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard? Put it in the back yard."