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Joke of the Day

"[On a date] *Don't let her know you're a dog* Girl: Do you want to...maybe go for a walk after this? *starts running in circles going crazy*"

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"A little boy wrote to Santa Claus... One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, ""Please send me a sister."" Santa Claus wrote him back, ""Ok, send me your mother."""
"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive.. They would eventually find me attractive"
"Enthusiasm 365 days until Christmas and people already have their trees up."
"What did one orphan say to the other? ""Robin, get in the batmobile."""
"When someone walks into a room, I like to tap the person next to me and in a loud stage whisper say ""Is that who you were telling me about?"""
"Man walks into a bar and asks, ""Can I have a Colt 45?"" ""Sorry Sir,"" comes the reply ""We have sold out"". ""OK, no problem, can I have a Luger and Lime instead?"""
"Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual? Because the pedals fell off."
"What do Spider-Man and Windows 98 have in common? They're always rebooting."
"An electron and a positron went into a bar and got totally annihilated."