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Joke of the Day

"What's a jew doing on a swing? Fucking with the german snipers"

"Girl: ""My first time having sex was a lot like the 100 metre dash..."" Boy: ""What, over in ten seconds?"" Girl: ""No, eight black men and a gun."""

"How do we know burgers love young people? They're pro-teen!"

"I told my girlfriend that I am over my ex... I don't have to feel guilty anymore."

"Karen: Are we ok? Me: [removes earbud] Yes. Karen: It's just that you named a Spotify playlist ""LET'S GET DIVORCED"""

"I do this amazing trick where I can erase every restaurant from your memory. Ready? Ok, here goes... ""Where should we go for dinner?"""

"What does the old Nazi call his favorite reclining chair? Mein Kampfy chair."

"Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant? Because he got cold feet."

"I'm opening a Canadian-Russian fusion restaurant... It's called Vladimir Poutine."

"What's the difference between broccoli and cat poop? My dog won't eat broccoli."