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Joke of the Day

"Currently stuck at an auction bidding for a house with a lengthy corridor. I'm in it for the long hall."

"Do you know the most popular place in town? The cemetery; people are just dying to get in"

"Women are like sand. The deeper you go, the wetter they get."

"The three reasons for liking a status: 1) I agree with you. 2) I realize this is about me, of course I'm gonna like it. 3) I like you."

"My ex-girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me! I want to go say hi but there's just so much history between us."

"Why did the computer squeak? Someone stepped on the mouse."

"A husband says to his wife... ""What would you do if I won the lottery?"". She replied ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent!"", he retorted, ""I won 12, here's 6, now fuck off""."

"Did you hear the popular pickle? He's kind of a big dill."

"A blonde joke... Donald Trump."

"The Pirate and the alphabet Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet? Because they spend years at sea."