30659

Joke of the Day

"A husband says to his wife... ""What would you do if I won the lottery?"". She replied ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent!"", he retorted, ""I won 12, here's 6, now fuck off""."

"Saw an ISIS poster yesterday It read ""Sign up for ISIS today! Receive free jacket and blowjob!"""

"A few weeks ago my barber cut my hair too short. I didn't like how it looked at all, but now it's growing on me."

"A new joke really racist. Jews are so weak,that the only way for them to be fast is to inject them with salmon water.And they are so cheap that they think 1 penny is like 5 million dollars."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Warm and a joy to wake up to in the morning : )"

"""If life hands me lemons I'll be an Arnold Palmer."" - Ice T"

"Secret: Something which is told to one person at a time."

"Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls."

"Being single is like a vacuum cleaner: its sucks when you're turned on"

"Boss: I'll tell you what I want Me: So tell me what you want, what you really really want *office breaks into Spice Girls dance routine"