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Joke of the Day

"Driving Wizard A wizard is driving down the highway, a man try's to merge into his lane in front of him. The wizard speeds up and yells out the window, ""You shall not pass!"""

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"What did the physicist say to the depressed hippy? ""There's no such thing as negative energy"""
"Why did the snowman smile? ...because he saw the snowblower coming."
"Jack and Jill went up the hill so jack could lick her candy... But Jack got a shock And a mouth full of cock Cause Jill's real name was Randy"
"You wouldn't believe me after reading my TL but my 1st language actually is English"
"to do list I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can't figure out who's going to do it"
"Emperor: How are my elite troops doing on Endor? Vader: They were all viciously murdered by teddy bears. Emperor: That sounds plausible."
"What is the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race..."
"Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie about how beauty is only skin deep. What's important is that you're rich & you have a giant castle"
"I gave two pints of blood at the hospital. You would think they'd appreciate it but they just started asking me questions like... Who's blood is this, and how did you get it?"