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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race..."

"How do you make a plumber cry? Staple a frog to his forehead"

"I asked my wife what to wear to this black tie event. She said ""When in Rome"". So, I'm going as a naked, terrified Christian. With a tie."

"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? Same time next month? (sorry if repost)"

"I've been a huge fan of bandwagons since yesterday."

"Did you hear about the race between Cambodia and Burma? It was a Thai."

"Prostitutes are like cigarettes. As a kid, you think you're never gonna try it. When you start getting older, you think, ""why not just once?"". Soon enough, you're addicted. And broke."

"He told me I was the ""bee's knees"". I believe I merit being compared to something more like a lemur's femur. Who doesn't love Zoboomafoo?"

"What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ? The registration of the car that ran him over !"

"Wow, 5 years ago we had Steve Jobs and Neil Armstrong. Now we have no jobs and no arms."