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Joke of the Day

"If the universe were not absurd, would it make sense? squid"

"Wha do you call when a whale gets circumcised? A huge disappointment. Edit: give me a T!"

"What did Luke Skywalker say to his sister's bully? Don't you Leia finger on her"

"Following my vasectomy my urologist told me to return with a sample after I had ejaculated 40 times Ok Doc. See you tomorrow morning!"

"One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them"

"A guy walks into a bar holding a dog poop... he says ""hey guys, look what I almost stepped in"""

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't let a garbanzo bean on my face"

"The way I see it, EVERY FRIDAY is Good Friday.. "

"Do you have a favorite boat joke? No? Well you will schooner or later."

"When did you find out Santa wasn't real? For me it was when I noticed he had the same birthmark on his cock as my uncle."