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Joke of the Day
"In 4.5 billion years the sun will burn out but on the plus side no more sunset instagrams"
Next Joke
"*starts petting a random dog in the park when I see my ex dog walking past*"
"What's the difference between a golfball and a woman's 'G' spot? A man will actually spend 20 minutes looking for a golfball... Alternative punchline: Man can actually hit a golfball..."
"Did you hear about the man who choked on an issue of The Guardian after learning about his brothers passing? He found the news hard to swallow."
"Chuck Norris can live on the dark Side of the moon............naked"
"Some people are so obnoxiously stupid all that comes to mind while listening to them is WHAT IS IT LIKE TO CONTINUOUSLY SUCK DONKEY DICKS?!"
"Dropped a gorilla into my apartment so I could shoot my roommate"
"A man sees a blonde across the river. Man: How do I get to the other side? Blonde: You are on the other side."
"A priest with a lisp offered to bring a roamin' Catholic to Paris ... The Catholic, bread in hand, was not impressed."
"Boss: Did you bring the reports? Me: Hold on. *reaches into pockets and pulls out two middle fingers* Boss: I resign. You're the boss now."