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Joke of the Day

"What did the trailer park girl say when she lost her virginity Get off me dad! your crushing my smokes!"

"What did Liberace die from? Botulism. Bad meat in the can."

"I'm starting to think that all those hours in school when I practiced writing my autograph was just a waste of time....."

"You know that video game, Mario, right? Do you know what his overalls are made of? Denim denim denim"

"I am an expert at making balloon animals. May I interest you in a hyphen or a pickle?"

"Why does the lawyer hate doing pro-bono work? Because he fucking hates U2."

"What happened to the road? Depressions."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? One's a Goodyear, and the other's a great year. x/post from r/funny"

"OMG! I just got an email (in my bulk mail folder) from Oprah Winfrey!!! She's gonna help me increase the size of my penis!!!"

"Hi, welcome to Starbucks! How can we spell your name incorrectly today?"