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Joke of the Day

"OMG! I just got an email (in my bulk mail folder) from Oprah Winfrey!!! She's gonna help me increase the size of my penis!!!"

"[on a date] *wonders if she'll steal my fries while I use the restroom* *shakes Magic 8 ball* ""YES"" *takes plate of fries with me*"

"An old white man in a beard bestowing gifts from the sky? Please."

"I introduced my girlfriend to my family today. My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad."

"""I sound nothing like that when I cry."" -doves"

"My best guy friend and I vowed if we're still single at 45, we def won't marry each other because who wants to marry someone no one likes?"

"[Racist Joke] What does a black men and the Terminator have in common? One says ""Hasta la vista baby!!"" and the other one says ""Hasta la vista son"""

"Is your refrigerator running?? Because I might vote for it."

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was ""ARGHAGHRRAH!"""

"Do you know why I pulled you over? ""Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet."" I meant this time ""Oh. No."" Please step out of the oven."