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Joke of the Day

"Everyone else could have their eyes shut, runny noses and food in their teeth but if I look thin, it's a GREAT group photo."

"it's impossible to own two weiner dogs because that's a paradachshund"

"What did the man say when he saw the Jewish man stealing his water? ""Water Jew doing?"""

"The only thing worse than a woman who's completely lifeless in bed.. .. Is getting caught with the body"

"I heard about this one place with red signs that thanked drivers for slowing down... ...but when I drove by, everything was blue."

"Why do American's take letters out of words? Because they're lazy, and they hate U."

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"My wife's leaving me for refusing to stop referring to our children as my Capri Son and Capri Daughter."

"Whats the difference between a Mexican and a power tool? Power tools are found inside the Home Depot."

"What do you call a two-legged-dog A puup"