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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a Mexican and a power tool? Power tools are found inside the Home Depot."

"[God making water] ""it helps plants"" ANGEL: nice ""cleans things"" A: ok ""u die if u don't drink it"" A: ""& drown if u drink it wrong"" A: what"

"What gets easier to pick up, the more it weighs? Women"

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"people who back up into parking spots are worse than serial killers"

"Shout out to the dude who's followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week."

"Did you hear about the midget that finally came to terms with his homosexuality? He just came out of the cupboard."

"a powerful ancient bully emerged from a lake and told some girls i didnt know how to jack off til i was 16 & used a really unorthodox style"

"I'm sexually attracted to metal boxes with locking systems. But don't worry. It's safe sex."

"I was craving a soda this morning in school, but I couldn't afford one.. I was soda pressed"