68034

Joke of the Day

"Yo mama is so old. Yo mama is so old that in her history class they just wrote down what they where doing."

"What do you call 40 mexicans standing in your yard holding hands? Spicket fence."

"What's the current number one song in Russia? Crimea river"

"I'd advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown. It's the only outfit you might not outgrow."

"What do windows feel when they get hurt? Pane!"

"In the beginning there was nothing... Then God said ""Let there be light!"" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Edit: Credit to Ellen DeGeneris."

"I'm going to major in Marijuana when I go to college... I hear it's a growing field."

"My wife has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger. She'll be back."

"Hormonal teenage daughter: Where do you want to be buried? Me: You mean after I die, right?"

"Want the secret to success? Want 2x the energy without having to diet? Want to add 20 years to your life? Want less shoulder hair? Me too."