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Joke of the Day

"In the beginning there was nothing... Then God said ""Let there be light!"" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Edit: Credit to Ellen DeGeneris."

"How do you break the nose of a blonde without touching her? Wave your cock underneath a glass table"

"A dog had three puppies: Mopsy, Topsy, and Spot. What was the mother's name. 'What'"

"TIL Why homosexuals dress so nicely. It's because they spend most of their time in the closet."

"When a vegetarian turns into a zombie, what does it eat? Coma patients."

"What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky? *Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer."

"My Chinese friend got me an iPad for my birthday... Nothing beats a homemade gift!"

"How do you silence an Italian? Cut off his hands"

"Setting up a Moses business would be simple except for one setback... Staff problems."

"Where do I see myself in five years? *kicks feet up on desk* Sir, does my resume list ""psychics abilities"" under skills? No. Next question."