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Joke of the Day

"Started a game of hide and seek with my dad 20 years ago haha he's the best where are you man"

"Like my grandpa Clint Eastwood used to say, it's never too late to adopt a fake name to impress girls."

"My friend wanted to hear a really long poop joke. So I told him to sit down because it would take a while."

"Wife: Can you fix this, the holes too big for the thingy majingy? Me: Hey I know how it feels! Hahaha! *And then I regained consciousness"

"What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast? ... a tectonic plate!"

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... And one turns to the other and says ""Dude, I can't believe I blew thirty bucks in there"""

"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to ""Dick"". Especially since his name is Steve."

"When the farmer counted his cows he had 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200!"

"I once had a girl who wanted to shit on my chest She really did a number on me"

"My eyes are fine but I still failed my eye exams... I guess I shouldn't have copied off the asian guy."