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Joke of the Day

"My friend wanted to hear a really long poop joke. So I told him to sit down because it would take a while."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, but it's at least 6, because my basement is still dark!!"

"What did the Mexican say when his roof fell on him? Get off me Holmes!"

"I like to buy books, but I never read them. I just want them for my shelf."

"Me: ""I can't turn on the shower"" Plumber: ""It's seen you naked so often the excitement's gone. Try dressing up"" *Hands over shower cap*"

"My favorite moment is the 5 minutes every day when coffee overlaps with wine."

"What do a woman and a refrigerator have in common? They both leak when they're fucked."

"""Well grandma,"" I said, ""this is where you will be staying eventually, do you like it? "" She shouted, ""Will you fuck off and let me visit your granddad's grave in peace!"""

"Did you used to blow bubbles when you were younger? Well, he's back in town lookin' for ya!"

"A man with multiple-personality disorder walked into a bar. No he didn't."