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Joke of the Day

"What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast? ... a tectonic plate!"

"What was the old man in despair about? Nothing."

"Alzheimer Joke (Not sure if repost.)"

"What does the Doctor use to keep things running smoothly in the T.A.R.D.I.S? WD-4D"

"Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car? Because he got an award for revvin' it."

"What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ? A headbanger !"

"scarlet joe hanson sounds like an old timey boxer's name. ""weighin' in at 182 lbs, 5'9"", the ol' black widow, scarlet jooooooe hansen!"""

"How Many Friendzoned Guys Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"I went to the movies with a girl last night. I paid for the tickets & the snacks, & anything else I can before she reports her card stolen."

"I met a dwarf the other day... He was a pretty average guy; a little mean"