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Joke of the Day

"Like my grandpa Clint Eastwood used to say, it's never too late to adopt a fake name to impress girls."

"When I was about 8, my mom would play hide and go seek with me.. She was really good, too. Mom, where are you?"

"Don't take drugs... for granted."

"Q: What kind of television do horses like? A: Saddle-lite TV"

"Today I found my first grey pubic hair... I got really excited, but not as much as the other people on the bus."

"What do you get when you push a cow out of a plane? Ground beef"

"I got tired of wearing my watch on my wrist.. So I tried attaching it to my belt instead.. man, that was a real waist of time."

"fur coat daughter tells mom who wears a fur coat daughter: did you know that your fur coat is a result of suffering of an animal? mom: you shouldn't talk about your dad that way"

"How will Trump fund the wall? He'll get the money from *wall* street"

"A wizard is driving down a road and he turns in to a driveway."