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Joke of the Day

"No one cared about Cap'n Crunch when he was a Lieut'n'nt Com'nd'r"

"This national park is nice but the cell service sucks. I can only enjoy natural beauty if I can tweet ironically about it."

"And now I remember why I don't trust toilets at service stations..... ....they're usually full of shit."

"ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance."

"Humour is of two types below the belt and above the forehead."

"""Well children"" said the cannibal cooking teacher. ""What did you make of the new English teacher?"" ""Burgers ma'am."""

"What do you call a German who doesn't eat meat? A Veget-Aryan"

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it."

"Australia I told my girlfriend I've been to Australia... I kissed her sting ray down unda'"

"What's Irish and lies around in the sun all day? Patty O'Furniture."