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Joke of the Day

"ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance."

"Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team? Because she ran away from the ball!"

"I know I'm getting old... the other day I walked past a cemetery and two guys attacked me with shovels."

"Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long? Because old Hobbits die hard..."

"Why are Japanese people so good at judo? You can't ippon a Nippon."

"6yo lured girls to our beach umbrella by shaking a bag of Cheetos at them & it worked so guys, feel free to steal his fool-proof method."

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear."

"I got my wife tickets on a cruise ship. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."

"What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend? I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain."

"Struggling with Christmas Presents??? If you're struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas... Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it!"