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Joke of the Day

"Every girl I bring home is unemployed, drunk and on drugs. I'm starting to think that whole ""opposites attract"" thing is bullshit."

"Fun: text friend Are you alone right now? They go Yes. Then u text back LOL"

"No Grandma, he has a hair piece, not herpes"

"Two cleaners had a massive fight in my office earlier. Hell of a dust up."

"A Comparison What is the difference between a women's track team and a pack of gerbils? The gerbils are a bunch of cunning runts."

"Just farted and it sounded like Louis Armstrong saying the word ""blueberry"" with his mouth full."

"Did you hear about the misanthropic statistician? 100% of people can go fuck themselves. Told to me by a cab driver in New Orleans."

"I fell face-first in fresh concrete the other day... I wasn't worried though - my mom always said I'd make a good impression."

"Trump chose his Secretary of Defence But who will be Secretary of De Wall?"

"What is a guy who rubs bear toes called? Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!"